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Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!! - Page 1

Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: Bert
Date: 2014-12-08 20:17:14
1. You are never allowed to pull a speed boost out of your ass to gain an insurmountable lead over your foes, but it's OK when Petey Piranha does it.

2. You are required, by law, to collide with every projectile and road hazard in your general direction. Failure to do so is literally oppression, and you will be fined one trillion dollars in gold coins, forced to serve 2003 life sentences in prison, and serve 2003 hours of community service (read: never get an item box again).

3. In the event you somehow work around the stipulations of #2, then your car will have a 'crash into items' magnet placed on it.

4. Red Shells will chase you to the ends of the Earth just to crash into you. However, they will instantly give up going after your foes when they change lanes.

5. Any projectile you've thrown will somehow find its way around the course to hit you, even if its a green shell.

6. Some dipshit thought Dry Dry Desert was a great idea.

7. When you fall off the track, you have to watch a 17-year long animation of Lakitu fishing your kart up and putting it back on the course. When an enemy falls off the track, they respawn instantly and ram you off the road.

8. Ghosts are fucking heavy, apparently.

9. If you are in first place at the start of a race, then every item your enemies get from the first row of item boxes will be a Spiny Shell. Even if you're in 8th place and someone in 5th place throws one, it still hits you. See lesson #2.

10. Throwing a green tortoise shell at a reinforced green pipe is the only way to kill the man-eating plant living inside. Even though this doesn't work in any other Mario game.

11. You were expecting an 11th lesson? TOO BAD! Waluigi tiHI I'M DAISY!

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: Krazyguy75
Date: 2014-12-09 02:34:34
Meh, I learned that practice both makes perfect but does not make friends. I spent too many days playing that. I perfected the game to an extreme.

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2014-12-09 15:47:32

1. You are never allowed to pull a speed boost out of your ass to gain an insurmountable lead over your foes, but it's OK when Petey Piranha does it.


Ah, annoying that the AI cheats then.

I have heard that this is called rubber-band AI; if the computer is a long way behind you, the game will make them faster in ways that would normally be impossible for the player.

I've also heard it was a problem in Mario Kart 64 too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usus7kUQ0kI

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: Bert
Date: 2014-12-09 15:54:33


1. You are never allowed to pull a speed boost out of your ass to gain an insurmountable lead over your foes, but it's OK when Petey Piranha does it.


Ah, annoying that the AI cheats then.

I have heard that this is called rubber-band AI; if the computer is a long way behind you, the game will make them faster in ways that would normally be impossible for the player.

I've also heard it was a problem in Mario Kart 64 too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usus7kUQ0kI


Yep, that's exactly what it's called. Petey takes it a step further, though, and blazes at 1000MPH if you even think about passing him. Unless you're racing against Petey when his AI is on vacation, the whole race becomes a bore and a chore.

Wario does it too, but not as badly.

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: Zowayix
Date: 2014-12-10 05:13:00


1. You are never allowed to pull a speed boost out of your ass to gain an insurmountable lead over your foes, but it's OK when Petey Piranha does it.


Ah, annoying that the AI cheats then.

I have heard that this is called rubber-band AI; if the computer is a long way behind you, the game will make them faster in ways that would normally be impossible for the player.

I've also heard it was a problem in Mario Kart 64 too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usus7kUQ0kI


Yep, and it's pretty much the reason why Mario Kart is actually a bullshit series. And they still have it in Mario Kart 8. I'm not entirely mad because it came free with the console anyway, but still, I'm just simply not going to play it. Even if I was against human players, it would still be bullshit for the reasons in the OP which are still valid.

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: Krazyguy75
Date: 2014-12-10 12:28:38
Rubber Banding has gotten noteably less extreme, though. The AI will never cheat while in first anymore. It's barely an issue to me in MK8.

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: xtreme713ify
Date: 2014-12-20 14:38:15
I've never had any issues like this in Mario Kart, not even in MK64. And I don't even like MK64 that much, overrated dated garbage compared to the rest of the series.

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: Bert
Date: 2014-12-23 17:32:58

I've never had any issues like this in Mario Kart, not even in MK64. And I don't even like MK64 that much, overrated dated garbage compared to the rest of the series.


What universe do you live in where Mario Kart isn't bullshit central?

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: Krazyguy75
Date: 2014-12-24 23:59:23


I've never had any issues like this in Mario Kart, not even in MK64. And I don't even like MK64 that much, overrated dated garbage compared to the rest of the series.


What universe do you live in where Mario Kart isn't bullshit central?


The always in first universe!

#modest

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: Bert
Date: 2014-12-25 20:11:20



I've never had any issues like this in Mario Kart, not even in MK64. And I don't even like MK64 that much, overrated dated garbage compared to the rest of the series.


What universe do you live in where Mario Kart isn't bullshit central?


The always in first universe!

#modest


Huehuehue.

Also, fuck Mario Kart 7's AI. It's not even cheap, it's just meanspirited.

Re: Things I Learned Playing Mario Kart: Double Dash!!

Posted by: xtreme713ify
Date: 2015-01-23 20:18:34
I live in a universe where I only play with friends after unlocking everything.