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Something I need To Say - Page 1

Something I need To Say

Posted by: shaggs
Date: 2009-06-25 14:04:48
So hi.

Umm, All I have to say is.

Right now I'm feeling
really wierd and I can't control my emotions.

I'm really quite unstable so I'm going to not talk
to anyone but my friends..

I know I have been really damn harsh too people and
I feel bad, THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

So Mutou Yami, I'm sorry for talking bad smack about
you.

Crazy shit has been happening lately and I'm acting up when
I shouldn't be, so I'm sorry for being really harsh to anyone.

BUT, this still does not mean I'm submitting to any of you, I am
still defensive and I do not want Everyone to be on one side, cause
really, it's pretty much me against everyone involved in this right?

Why won't anyone listen to me?

I NEVER ripped on Yami for having autism, and I NEVER
tell anyone to do drugs, she always tells me how bad drugs
and I just tell her how they help me so she assumes I hate
her because she doesn't do drugs.

Although I did get irritated because I messaged her on msn and I was
being nice and just talking, and I usually use my phone for
the msn messenger cause I don't have internet on my computer.
I use my phone which has T9, something that tries to guess the
word you are trying to input for your message, and some words come
before others so when I'm typing fast I miss that.

So She assumes I'm stoned and tells me to leave
and come back when I'm not acting like a "5 year old"
really,  If I ever get mad at someone it's for a reason,
like I have said I know I have been harsh but I'm sorry
to those I have been harsh to.

Anyways, I really don't care if I'm Moderated, but I just want people
to see my side of the story and not just hers, because she is a cool person
but she assumes too much about me and never listens to me and that's bad
because I don't want to hate someone forever and I want to talk shit out,
because I'm not the type of person that throws out people for no reason.

I also told her she should try to make friends ouside of the internet and try to
go out more and that it would be cool to be with people like her, and she thought
I was talking about love, she said "been there done that never worked out". I told
her I was just talking about friends not love, she said I made no sense and come back
when I'm unstoned..

I always try to help her out with stuff, and I guess she almost never "understands"
what I'm talking about, and yeah, a few times a did make a few jokes about autism,
well, I don't remember if they were jokes but I said something like "you put up good
arguments for someone with autims" Bleh, I'm sorry if I ever hurt anyone, I didn't mean it.
Usually I just get mad because I know she has autism, so I kind of tried to be easy, but she didn't try
shit, she just you know, assumed whatever she wanted and didn't want to talk to me.

Like I said I'm sorry for what I have done, but I don't think it's alright that she does stuff like that
to me because she knows very well that she has brushed me off for the simplest little things or for when she assumes somethings no matter what disorder she has

She doesn't have to apologize because I really don't care, but I'm apoligizing
because I know I did wrong and I want to clear it up for EVERYONE.

Man, I DON'T WANT TO HATE ANYONE FOREVER. I'm serious

I need somebody, somone to listen.

It would be really cool to be friends again with her, but if she says no it's all cool.
But I still want people to see my side of the story, I know I'm getting a bit repetetive
But I'm being honest and that really matters.

I'm sorry for everything I've done.

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: fivex
Date: 2009-06-25 16:42:56
:(

Also, why is it written like it is?

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: shaggs
Date: 2009-06-25 17:19:43
Because it isn't for show, I just look out for
mispells and that's it, otherwise, I just wrote
it like if I was talking to anyone in person.

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: Wild MissingNo. appeared
Date: 2009-06-26 08:53:18
I have out of control emotions, but I talk to my friend, Harley, and she's a great person. She can understand what bugs me and what I go through, but when you've been laughed at, bullied, made fun of because autism causes HALF of the brain to work, where I have most area of my brain either dead or just not responding properly. I've had it hard for the last, couple of years, where I lost close members of my family, my pets being killed, my parents barely there for me, mainly my mother, my father can't do much, he's like me but his is mild compare to mine. I get angry, is because for so long I have been fueled by such anger towards people who laughed at me, made fun of me, threatened to kill me, and I never fought back, because I was more calm than that, but I never told anyone of my past, and look at what is has done to me. I'm a walking time bomb, but I can keep calm but I hate being joked about even if you don't mean it, I've had that in every fucking school I went to. College was the only place I didn't get picked on, but I left after a few days because in the computer world, I was too smart for them, so I left. Life wouldn't be called life it wasn't so cruel, and Harley is right. She's a bit like how I get, she self-harms to rid of her anger, but I don't cut easily because I'm harder skinned. Drugs maybe away to rid of anger, but I'm always willing to listen, to a friend in need. I've done that to many of my friends, I listen to them and afterwards, I can see what they go through, I try and put myself in their shoes, to understand, when I get these crazy-ass visions, they started when I was 17. One of them was about my brother dying, and you know what spooked me? It came true. 17th of November would be the date of my brother's death, and it was true. I don't get them often, but now and again, or they turn my dreams into nightmares, so if you're scared all you gotta do is talk to me. I don't bite (much), and I am willing to listen.

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: shaggs
Date: 2009-06-26 20:06:44
Well I really have nothing to say to that because
I basically told you everything on msn, and honestly.

Right now I don't know what to do, because after this happened,
no one is really replying to anything I say, who knows, maybe
I should leave? I don't want them to know what I told you, and
hey, whatever, right now, I just know don't if I care anymore
about anything in life.

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: Wild MissingNo. appeared
Date: 2009-06-27 03:36:30
Some either don't take any notice, or they want us to settle this.

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: Ketsuban
Date: 2009-06-27 13:00:37
I did.

I think what peachY did is unforgivable and can only be punished by a permaban… or worse.

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: Missing? NO!
Date: 2009-06-27 13:03:07

I did.

I think what peachY did is unforgivable and can only be punished by a permaban… or worse.

People deserve second chances. Just look at yourself.

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: Ketsuban
Date: 2009-06-27 13:26:19
Yes, well, I didn't call one of our most respected spriters here a "bitch", nor did I say to her "Fuck You".

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: shaggs
Date: 2009-06-27 21:52:22
You don't know damn story, noone here does besideds
Yami, I'm apoligizing to her not to any of you except Jolten
666dude[\m/]

So yeah, unforgivabled? I say unbelievable

Nothing changes, just rearranges, for me
this time.

Re: Something I need To Say

Posted by: Bluelatios
Date: 2009-07-03 20:27:35
What? unforgivable, c'mon, Papa Doc struggles with things just like everyone does at some point in life (multiple points actually, sometimes every day), so of course he deserves a second chance.