Something I need To Say
Posted by: shaggs
Date: 2009-06-25 14:04:48
Umm, All I have to say is.
Right now I'm feeling
really wierd and I can't control my emotions.
I'm really quite unstable so I'm going to not talk
to anyone but my friends..
I know I have been really damn harsh too people and
I feel bad, THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
So Mutou Yami, I'm sorry for talking bad smack about
you.
Crazy shit has been happening lately and I'm acting up when
I shouldn't be, so I'm sorry for being really harsh to anyone.
BUT, this still does not mean I'm submitting to any of you, I am
still defensive and I do not want Everyone to be on one side, cause
really, it's pretty much me against everyone involved in this right?
Why won't anyone listen to me?
I NEVER ripped on Yami for having autism, and I NEVER
tell anyone to do drugs, she always tells me how bad drugs
and I just tell her how they help me so she assumes I hate
her because she doesn't do drugs.
Although I did get irritated because I messaged her on msn and I was
being nice and just talking, and I usually use my phone for
the msn messenger cause I don't have internet on my computer.
I use my phone which has T9, something that tries to guess the
word you are trying to input for your message, and some words come
before others so when I'm typing fast I miss that.
So She assumes I'm stoned and tells me to leave
and come back when I'm not acting like a "5 year old"
really, If I ever get mad at someone it's for a reason,
like I have said I know I have been harsh but I'm sorry
to those I have been harsh to.
Anyways, I really don't care if I'm Moderated, but I just want people
to see my side of the story and not just hers, because she is a cool person
but she assumes too much about me and never listens to me and that's bad
because I don't want to hate someone forever and I want to talk shit out,
because I'm not the type of person that throws out people for no reason.
I also told her she should try to make friends ouside of the internet and try to
go out more and that it would be cool to be with people like her, and she thought
I was talking about love, she said "been there done that never worked out". I told
her I was just talking about friends not love, she said I made no sense and come back
when I'm unstoned..
I always try to help her out with stuff, and I guess she almost never "understands"
what I'm talking about, and yeah, a few times a did make a few jokes about autism,
well, I don't remember if they were jokes but I said something like "you put up good
arguments for someone with autims" Bleh, I'm sorry if I ever hurt anyone, I didn't mean it.
Usually I just get mad because I know she has autism, so I kind of tried to be easy, but she didn't try
shit, she just you know, assumed whatever she wanted and didn't want to talk to me.
Like I said I'm sorry for what I have done, but I don't think it's alright that she does stuff like that
to me because she knows very well that she has brushed me off for the simplest little things or for when she assumes somethings no matter what disorder she has
She doesn't have to apologize because I really don't care, but I'm apoligizing
because I know I did wrong and I want to clear it up for EVERYONE.
Man, I DON'T WANT TO HATE ANYONE FOREVER. I'm serious
I need somebody, somone to listen.
It would be really cool to be friends again with her, but if she says no it's all cool.
But I still want people to see my side of the story, I know I'm getting a bit repetetive
But I'm being honest and that really matters.
I'm sorry for everything I've done.