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Really bad jokes - Page 3

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2018-04-27 10:37:33

The story was really well-pieced together. I can't wait for the sequel !


I think it's actually a joke notable for being long. I'm sure I read there was a little social study on it (however not sure of the veracity), some people would read the joke to the end, some would read a good portion of it, others would see it but give up reading it shortly after acknowledging its length.

Edit: Aha! Found it.


This joke was also a  personality profile test…

  It was the subject of a recent Educational Psychology Master's Thesis, soon to be published, which investigated the way that someone responds to a webpage such as this  correlates to certain personality tendencies.

The research confirmed a statistically significant correlation which strongly suggests a dependably predictive positive relationship between how a person responds to this page and certain aspects of his or her psychological profile. Thus, it is called the Personality Profile Assessment Test Hypothesis.

While the actual results looked at several complex factors, and depended heavily on questionnaires filled out by volunteers upon completion of their experience, I will simplify the results by discussing three main groups and their profiles. While these profiles may not be exactly fitting of each person within each group, they do strongly suggest a statistically significant likelihood of profile similarity.



11% of those who see this page take their time, enjoying the joke as they read it, enjoying the build up to the punch line, and even if the punch line itself wasnt particularly humorous, they tended to enjoy the process.



56% begin scroll down to the punch line either before starting to read the joke or within a short period of time- usually 20 seconds or less. The vast majority of this group choose not to read the joke.


33% read at least 1/3 of the joke, with the intention of reading it all, but then begin to question their decision and the investment of time they are making. They go back and forth between deciding to continuing or to skip to the end (this vacillating may be unconscious at the time, and happen in a matter of moments). The vast majority in this group give up before finishing ½ of the joke, and scroll to the end.

People in the first group, who read the entire joke, tend to enjoy the journey of life, and take their time as they move towards a goal. When traveling, they tend to thoroughly enjoy the process, and are not uptight or stressed about single-mindedly getting to their destination.  They also tend to be very attentive, patient and long lasting lovers, and enjoy intimacy and physical connectivity whether or not it is carried to completion.

Those in the second group, who scroll to the end before reading more than a few sentences of the joke, tend to avoid surprises and the unknown. They prefer to have a regular schedule and not to step out of their routine. They tend to be efficient, but are often lacking in enjoyment, spontaneity and passion. They tend to be less patient and more interested in the destination than the journey. When on a trip, they tend to focus on getting where they are going, rather than enjoying the process. During intimacy, they tend to not be able to enjoy it unless they are certain it will be taken to completion.  The idea of just playing around a while, engaging in physical intimacy without the promise of full completion is, rather than simply enjoyable and connective, considered to be cruel and a teasing and is met with resentment. This groups ability to enjoy depends largely on their need to know what is going to happen. They tend to be more self-focused lovers, and tend not to last very long in satisfying the other partner if their own satisfaction has happened or is within easy reach. 

The third group, who decided not to read the entire joke after reading a third or more of it, tend to be commitment-phobic and lack the ability to move forward to completion when things become challenging. They are often procrastinators and frequently give up on tasks when they become more difficult. They tend to prefer to have big dreams than act on them in the real, challenging world. A significantly higher percentage of this group had Cesarean birth, and may not have had the benefit of that early experience of struggle and effort being rewarded with accomplishment. This group tends to not take big vacations which would take more effort to plan and implement, and tends to stay close to home or even stay home during time off. Promotions and career moves which are within reach but still require some effort and focus are frequently not fully tried for, although the perception will be they were passed up.  In intimate relationships, this group tends to start out romantic and passionate, but it quickly fades and is replaced by lackadaisicalness and indifference, characterized in part by a sense of feeling it is not worth the effort to continue having a passionate, energized and complete experience during intimacy. There is a tendency to peter out both in intimacy and in other aspects of life, and to take the easier road, even if it leads to a less fulfilling life.


* * * *

Disclaimer: This summary of the thesis results is not intended in any way to offer advice or therapy, nor is it intended to infer anything about whether anyone reading this page does or does not fit the personality profiles described.

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Bent`
Date: 2018-04-29 03:26:04
I posted the same joke twice, four years apart, without even noticing.

If that isnt funny, I dont know what is.

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2018-06-22 08:57:38
What do you call a dinosaur that's not extinct?

A "liveyesnotsore"

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Bert
Date: 2018-07-09 16:38:08
American beer.

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2018-07-09 17:34:05
What do you call a sleeping Snorlax at Christmas? Santa Snores.

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2019-01-25 13:52:33
God: "Hello, let's make a universe. (MATH PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE COMPILE ERROR crap, can't divide by zero). I know! Let's make some imaginary particles to make up for it and pretend they didn't know."

(Sorry if I come across rude or anything, I'm not atheist but kind of agnostic/don't discount it. Came up with this because in quantum mechanics they say virtual particles exist in a vacuum or as we could call it "the void". I wonder if it's RAM from God's harddrive)

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Sherkel
Date: 2019-01-25 18:25:36
"I got hit by a rental car the other day."

"Hertz?"

"No, but thanks for asking."

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Parzival
Date: 2019-02-16 15:32:47
does this count

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2019-04-22 14:04:42

does this count


Yep ^^

Introducing the newest Mr. Men and Little Miss characters, Little Miss Docile and Philosopher.

Little Miss Philosopher: I can't believe how chilled out you are, how do you do it? I MUST KNOW!!!
Little Miss Docile: Um, dunno.
Little Miss Philosopher: Very interesting, if "I think therefore I am" and you don't think, do you exist?
Little Miss Docile: What?
Little Miss Philosopher: Hmm, she does not know; do I exist in her field of view? Therefore for her universe, do I not exist?
Little Miss Docile: Cool!! ^_^ Anyway, it was lovely weather today. :)
Little Miss Philosopher: 50% chance of this temperature according to this year's statistics, therefore average weather.

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: bwill11
Date: 2019-07-19 15:02:07
During my Pokemon Blue ES glitch Pokemon investigations that most of the people on this website know about at this point due to the number of miscellaneous posts I've made about things i've found during it, I've usually nicknamed the glitchmons that have annoying names by their hexadecimal index number. However, I named my Enem. úÍ  "CaptFalcon" because it's number f zero.

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2019-07-19 15:08:39

During my Pokemon Blue ES glitch Pokemon investigations that most of the people on this website know about at this point due to the number of miscellaneous posts I've made about things i've found during it, I've usually nicknamed the glitchmons that have annoying names by their hexadecimal index number. However, I named my Enem. úÍ  "CaptFalcon" because it's number f zero.


I love F-Zero

CAPTAIN FALCON!!

FALCON PUNCH!!!!11111111

RAAAAAAAGH


So like every time Captain Falcon says Falcon Punch in Smash Bros. and Falco is there, Falco punches.

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2019-10-18 02:52:44
Did you hear about the incomplete sentence? MissingNO.?! It has Missing Words!

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Bert
Date: 2019-12-08 23:21:56
What do my Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?

They didn't hang themselves.

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2020-03-05 10:40:52

When will all these jokes about Turning machines come to an end?

You can't really know for sure.

Life is a broken Turing machine, it goes back and forth back and forth.

How do you make a neutrino baby happy? Give it a positive spin. :)

Re: Really bad jokes

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2020-03-05 13:16:53
What do you call a mystical eye from Ireland? An Iris Fairy. A cross between an eye and a telescope. An eye-sotope. A hysterical eye. An eye-scream. A deer with an eye for a body. An eye-deer.