The RPG of Absurdity and Chaos - Page 1
This RPG is unorganized, because as some know, I don't want to have to be really active to keep it running. I rarely get really active in a RPG, but I do find some of them fun, which is why I'd like to start this one.
1. For this RPG to be absurd, any sort of character, object, etc should be allowed.
2. This RPG doesn't have to be logical.
3. Absurdity and chaos requires some godmodding. Therefore, everybody is allowed to godmod, even against someone else's godmodding.
4. There is no official list of characters, so you can have as many characters as you wish, and put them in or out any time.
5. No official story either.
6. Double posting might piss off some players.
7. Of course, this RPG still applies to GCLF rules.
The RPG starts now.
A male of a strange name, Pyrite, was walking to work, quite grumbling about his life and his work. He kept wishing that he was in Soviet Russia and doing what was necessary to make a random kitten go onto a journey to commit deicide.
A blue-green lamp hopped over to the man, it's cord waving behind it like a puppy dog's.
"Hello there, mister!" it squeaked. "My name's Potter? Do you know where the land of the freezers are? I'm off to visit my cousin there."
(That random enough for you? :P)
(Yeah. Although I know it'd get absurd enough just by allowing godmodding. XD)
"No. Do you know where Soviet Russia is?" Pyrite asked.
"Yes young lad! It's at death trap alley!"said, LMIALN
"Oh really? That's too bad," spoke Potter, hopping off the scene.
Soon the blue-green lamp returned to the scene, however, as he was being chased by a giant abominable snowman made of frozen slushees.
Then, suddenly, a wave of fire struck the abominable snowman, obliterating it. Nearby, a man with short dark hair, brown eyes, a goatee and a neatly trimmed moustache hovered with his arm stretched towards the place where the creature had stood. The man wore black pants, a black shirt with long red sleeves, and red shoes. His shirt had an insignia on the top right-hand corner:
The man grinned. "How are you gentlemen?" he asked in an almost sarcastic tone.
"Soviet Russia is part of a country called Soviet Union. Except, I don't have any maps nor do I know how the hell to get there. There are no planes in this place." Pyrite replied to LMIALN.
He then turned to the man who saved Potter, "Depressed, and want to kill a deity with a kitten."
"So you want to go to Soviet Russia, eh?" the man inquired. He grabbed Pyrite and disappeared.
A nanosecond later, in a continent far far away, the man, still holding Pyrite, appeared. He motioned towards a moving mass of red cities and states. "In Soviet Russia, the cities find you!" he exclaimed as Soviet Russia moved in to envelop the two people.
The man's name was Clayton Rogers, a cross-eyed blind man with strange magical powers. (Can this be him?)
They met this insane fellow by the name of Henry Rogers (Yes, Clayton's brother), who was drinking Budweiser while riding on top of a giant MP3 player that he had tamed. He had her (yes, the MP3 player is a female) turned on volume full blast listening to Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love".
Henry:ALCHYHOL!!!!!!! ME NEEDS ALCHYHOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pyrite:Sorry, sir, do you realize you're riding on top of a giant MP3 player?
Henry responded:I NO KNOW!!! I IS LISTENING TO SOME LED ZEPPELIN!! ROCK ON!!!
Clayton: Oh go away, stupid idiot brother!
Henry:Me no leavie!!!!!!!
Potter:Is he retarded?
Clayton:YES. He escaped from the nut ward 11 times in the past 9 years.
Henry decided to join them for no reason, (and they let him stay?) as he turned up the volume on his giant MP3 player even further and smoked some pot.
They soon met Roger Rabbit, who was drinking Jack Daniel's and jumping around like an idiot.
The MP3 player (which actually talks, its name is Patsy) opened up her mouth (the plug)and ate Roger, but Judge Doom appeared.
That's pretty random.
Meanwhile a man jumped from his throne and launched a bullet that destoryed Soviet Russia and turned it into a nuserey.
Then Mewtwo appeared saying ,that he would eat everyone's brains to become smarter.
Then a glitch trainer known only as GREEN appeared. He had kidnapped Jessica Rabbit and had the redhead slung over his shoulder.
The Glitch Trainer was the only one who knew how to recreate the internet with string and rope, as he was the one who turned it off.
String and rope were the two most common objects to grow from a berry tree, but n00bs used it to whip each other so it couldn't make the marvel of the universe known commonly as:
60ZBpj RubberBand CP/TSR connective FTP (or ZRBCPTSR/ZaRBaC PeTeSeR (pronouced zairback pizza) for short)
Which uses the power of cotton to transfer 60 Zetabites [size=3pt](bite = collective group of numbers from any quantity from 1 to 254)[/size] per Jiffy into a giant rubberband covering over the world connecting Computerized Persons/Toe Soviet Russians to a giant Foo Transferance Proticol (being how the Zarbac Peseter got it's full name)
The Zarbac Peseter is the only way Pyrite could ever find Soviet Russia (yet another one) using Foo-gle Maps. The only way the team could find Soviet Russia is if they could find Green and then eat the redhead (because they skipped breakfast)
While all this was happening, Sonic the Hedgehog entered GREEN's lair for no reason, and mistook him for Robotnik. GREEN won. Of course, Amy Rose suddenly appeared, and Sonic pulled out an AK-47. He fired it, but missed Amy Rose and hit a conveniently placed extra guy named Ryck. Ryck died and exploded, but nobody cares because he's an extra guy. Sonic ran up the wall as Amy chased after him holding up a diamond ring. GREEN pulled off his disguise, revealing he was really Judge Doom. Doom pulled out his hose and sprayed toon-killing dip at Amy Rose. Amy dissolved, and Sonic cheered, until he realized he was standing on the ceiling and fell into the dip, killing him. Tails promptly appeared and beat Doom over the head with a toilet seat, flattening Doom's head. Doom turned into his true toon form and whipped out a chainsaw, chopping Tails into a million bloody pieces. Jeffrey Dommer appeared and ate the pieces, until Doom sliced him up as well. Meanwhile, Bowser's seven children, the Koopalings, were jumping into giant green nuclear acid bathtubs and dissolving as the Mario brothers were getting beat up by the Weasels, until Luigi beat them and Mario to death with a trashcan. Luigi cheered, then got beaten up by a puddle of water. Luigi pissed himself and died. In the factory, Doom had just killed Bart Simpson and Cartman, when he was attacked and beaten up by Marvin the Martian. Stewie Griffin shot him and Doom sank into the dip, causing him to melt. Stewie then shot Marvin and melted him in the dip, then killed Bob Barker and went off to take over the world.
Meanwhile, our "heroes" had Time-warped back into the year 1993 and purchased tickets to a Nascar race at Bristol Motor Speedway in Tennessee. They rode there on Henry's giant living MP3 player, crushing Osama bin Laden, George W. Bush, and Michael Jackson in the process. After the 500 lap race, an evil Lemon and an evil Longcat attacked them.
Then Mickey Mouse appeared on the scene, riding on an old-fashioned teocup with legs. He said he was looking for Alice, the girl of the Wonderland.
Whipping out a long cucumber, he rushed toward the evil longcat on his trusty teacup steed.
They went to a race THAT REALLY HAPPENED. (1993 Food City 500)
Here are the results, in case you were interested:
11.Wally Dallenbach Jr.
17.Jeff Gordon (did not finish)
23.Ernie Irvan (did not finish)
24.Bobby Labonte (did not finish)
25.Rick Wilson (did not finish)
26.Ricky Rudd (did not finish)
29.Lake Speed (did not finish)
30.Bill Elliott (did not finish)
31.Phil Parsons (did not finish)
32.Dale Jarrett (dnf)
33.Bobby Hillin Jr. (dnf)
34.Ken Schrader (dnf)
35.Bobby Hamilton (dnf)
-Just in case you were wondering about the race they went to.
Anyways…Mickey Mouse stabbed at him. But the evil lemon squirted citric acid at him and he died. Alice appeared, spontaneously combusted, and died. The Mad Hatter and the March Hare appeared. The Hatter was smoking pot and the Hare was tripping off of acid. Longcat squished them, but Clayton turned Longcat into his true form, a man named Mickey Mousse. Stupid Henry promptly turned Mickey into a mouse, creating Mickey Mouse again (which Henry ate). Potter was smoking a joint and Pyrite was drinking vodka, while an enormous snot bubble was coming in and out of Henry's nose. Clayton turned the lemon into juice, which melted. Homer Simpson then appeared, eating a donut. But Henry pulled down his pants and pissed on him, which caused Homer to turn into the giant evil Fat Bastard, just as Dr. Evil, Mini-Me, and Mr. Bigglesworth appeared out of a Shoney's Big Boy escape pod that had crashed nearby.
Meanwhile, Stewie Griffin was beginning to put into action his plan to take over the world. First, he needed some henchmen. So he used an invention to go into the television. He was watching a Disney movie, The Aristocats. He dragged out the three kittens from the movie:Berlioz, Toulouse, and Marie. They became his loyal minions. But they were secretly plotting against him. They planned to overthrow Stewie, join the good guys, and accomplish their own goals, which were:
Berlioz's Goals:To reunite Led Zeppelin. Also to kill Stewie and marry his one true love, a box of Cheerios.
Toulouse's Goals:To paint a picture of the universe. Also to become a world heavyweight boxer and eat people's ears.
Marie's Goals:To become the biggest pop singer in the world. Also to eat Cheez Whiz and to skydive in the ocean.
So they began their secret plot to overthrow Stewie.