The Story of Glitchy, the 4. . [Completed 10/27/2014]
Posted by: Bert
Date: 2013-12-14 15:08:15
Chapter 1: Humble Beginnings
(Music: Slateport City)
It all started the day I got my first Pokémon. Like everyone else, I had been eagerly anticipating this special day, which is strange, because Im 20. Most kids get their first Pokémon at 10, doncha know.
Once I rolled off my bed, I changed out of my pajamas and got dressed like a normal person. I put on a grey T-shirt and blue jeans, then donned my long, blue cape, tying it around my neck. In my defense, Im not the only person who feels the need to look like a walking spectacle. There are other trainers, such as Jugglers, who regularly flood their heads with hair gel and spike it, then wear black vests and stand on street corners, entertaining whoever wanders by and feels like giving them a nickel. There are also Hex Maniacs, who wear purple robes and inject coffee beans into their veins, making them look like theyre trying to understand the plot to Turkish Star Wars. My cape-wearing ways look modest by comparison. And smug.
Now then, once I was dressed, I wandered down the stairs to the living room, because our house has only two rooms. Mind you, there was a divider in there, separating it from the kitchen, but thats it. The architects arent fooling anyone. Mum was sitting at a table, staring at nothing. Being the wonderful child I am, I told her I was on my way to do stuff.
Right. All boys leave home some day. It said so on TV. PROFESSOR OAK, next door, is waiting for you.
I asked, Why did you tell Professor Oaks name?
Mum shrugged. Im not sure, but I did. I think his grandson, Dicks, is there as well. What an awful name for a child.
Indeed, I replied. Well, I should be on my way. Im sure Oaks getting impatient.
Be sure to come back and show me the adorable little thing! Mum said. I nodded, and walked out the door.
Pallet Town is basically a square, and is quite small. I think the population is slightly over 50. Its really tight-nit, and everyone knows each other pretty well. To the towns north is Route 1, which connects Pallet Town to Viridian City, and to the south is a lake that leads to Cinnabar Island. To the east and west of town are colossal fields of grass, blocked off by three-foot tall white cylinders. Clearly, these are the barricades to end all barricades.
I headed south to Professor Oaks lab, which was a stones throw away. Instead of simply opening the door like a normal person, I instead walked right into it, nudging it open with my body. I walked across the hardwood floor, moving between the two bookcases on either side of the wall, to the back of the lab. There was a table with three Poké Balls on it and another table against a wall, with two PokéDexes on top. Dicks was there too; he was wearing a purple shirt and blue pants, with brown boots on his feet.
Hi, Dicks, I greeted him.
Hey, Bert, he replied.
I looked around the lab, but saw no sign of Professor Oak.
Wheres the Professor? I asked.
Dicks shrugged and replied, No idea. For some reason, I havent even thought of moving and going to look for him. Ive been here for the last six hours, just standing in this spot.
Sounds intolerable, I said.
It is. I really have to pee.
Not wanting to take this conversation any further, I turned 360 degrees and moonwalked out of the lab, tripping over the small, white fence that was just outside the building. It didnt hurt, but it was aggravating to know that it was the twentieth time it had happened. After picking myself up, I looked around, but there was still no sign of Professor Oak. I did, however, see some fatass wandering around, mumbling to himself. I made the horrible mistake of making eye contact with him, because once he did, he sauntered over to talk to me.
Todays technology is incredible! You can send emails to anyone in the world! he sputtered, looking at me with his cold, dead eyes.
How fascinating, I said, uninterested. Maybe you should go tell that hungry Entei over there, I replied, pointing behind him.
Whatre you talking about? Entei dont live around here. If you were up with todays newest technology, youd know that! He exclaimed.
I continued to point. No, really. Theres an Entei in that long grass field over there.
He continued to look at me with that uncomfortable stare, but he eventually gave up and decided to look behind him. There was indeed that familiar lion-like Pokémon, walking around.
HOLY s**t AND ENTEI I GOTTA TOUCH IT! he blurted, running over to meet the legendary beast. Doing what I thought would be impossible (for him, anyway), he jumped over the cylinders and into the grass field.
And then he froze in place. It was as if someone had pushed the stop button on him. Entei looked mildly curious, but before the masked cat could eat the walking tub of lard, he fell through the ground. For no particular reason, he fell. Initially, I thought he had just tipped over and was lying face-flat on the ground, but nope; when I went over to look, he was gone. Vanished. There was no sign of the floor caving in, no sign of foul play, nothing. He just disappeared.
Whaddya think happened to him? I asked Entei.
Arf! it barked, and then went galloping on its merry way to beat up hippies.
Feeling vaguely distressed, I decided to take a walk, making tracks for Route 1. As I stepped into the tall grass, I was stopped by a familiar sounding, elderly voice.
Hey! Wait! Dont go out!
I turned around and saw Professor Oak approaching me.
Where did you come from? I asked.
Wild Pokémon live in tall grass! Its dangerous to go out if you dont have a Pokémon of your own! Way to completely ignore my question. I know! Here, come with me!
Oak grabbed my wrist and dragged me back to his lab, taking me to the back of it, where the Poké Balls and Dexes were. Dicks was still there, surprisingly.
Gramps! Im fed up with waiting! Dicks said. Oaks seemed only mildly concerned about what his grandson said.
Dicks? Why are you here? I told you to come by earlier Ah, well, whatever. Bert! Do you see those three things on the table?
I nodded. I do. Theyre Poké Balls.
Oak replied, Correct! Today, Im going to give you your first Pokémon!
Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamps! When do I get a Pokémon? Dicks whined.
Shut up you whiney little tit Jesus Christ, Oak snapped back. He then turned back to me and said, Go ahead, Bert! Pick your partner!
I stood in front of the table and grabbed the left Ball. Grabbing it, I pushed the white button on its center, opening it. A red beam erupted from the bottom half and landed on the ground.
When the beam faded, there was not a Pokémon, but a cluster of floating grey pixels.
The pixels didnt really do anything other than float, but it did look a tad ominous. We stared at it, trying to comprehend just what it was.
Ah, so youve chosen Charmander. The fire type Pokémon, Oak said, trailing off.