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Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant) - Page 1

Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Wild MissingNo. appeared
Date: 2009-12-20 16:07:35
I'm feeling a bit annoyed here, so I'm going to explain. For so many years, I've gone through a lot of shit. Where I've had friends turn on me because I have autism, and whenever I go to places like forums, I get crap again for being myself. It pisses me off to no end that people can't seem to tell the difference of people with the normal level of autism, but at my level in which case is slightly advanced. For years I've asked myself the same question ever since I was 9 years old, "Why does my parents mean for my autism to be "badder"." in which I think I have a slight advanced version to autism that maybe no one has seen before in my case. I mean when I felt like leaving here before to get away from people who really shouldn't have an rank of admin/staff, I mean people like MissingNo. (former admin), Yuzi (when he was a nice guy), and Mugendai (once called  Kyoukipichi), were nice enough to like give me advice, and were really nice as they somewhat understood what I've gone through. I mean I feel as if I'm an outsider, because my autism at is an advanced level where it effects my brain in more of a different way than with a normal person who has the damned condition at a normal level like my father has. I mean it's not like I can help how I react, I've always been like that, ever since I was bulled in every single school I'd gone to. I've been trying to act like a "normal" person thinking I don't have the condition that's plagued myself for so many years, friends turning against me for no reason, and whenever ever people that say that I should act myself, and not of a person that I'm not, because for so long I've like tried to be somebody I'm not, they say that I should just be myself and not a person that I was born to me. Most of my friends are Christians, and they don't force their religion on me like most people would do, and they said that God made me as I am, that I am a special person (I don't feel special, never have), and that I should be myself and try to enjoy life while I'm still alive. I'm a lot of ways I am a bit like my father, but I do try and see other people's problems (like mine is insomnia, and he doesn't care sadly he's the selfish type of person, but I think deep down he does care, but isn't able to show that he cares, like I'm not able to show I can be caring, that I can be a very nice person), but I don't trust many people as I used to because I know they'd turn on me like a lot of people have, or just don't want to know me, because I'm not very good at talking to a person face to face, I can be fine with other family members, but anyone past that, I'm not very good, but I've been a little better as I do have like a carer, who tries to come out and see me to help me but if I do see her in the end, I'd say that there's no point visiting me when there's others out there who need their sort of help, because I suffer lack of motivation because my insomnia's so out of control, it's really fucked up my body clock. *Sighs* For years I've seen as the "idiot, stupid person", in other people's eyes because my autism is advanced when my brother used to do a hell of a lot better than me in school, and he too had autism, but think at my father's stage, where mine is at a stage that I don't think anyone has ever seen before. I mean this doctor that came out to see my brother, (a while before he died), that he understood us autistic ones, but he had no fucking clue, none at all, and he let my brother die, because my brother was like my father - stubborn, and that's what killed him, but people can't see past that, some people can't see past that we autistic ones (well most of us) don't follow rules, we go by our own in which we can understand and be happy, and not feel as if we're being controlled all the time to do things we don't want to do. I'll no doubt get flamed for this, but I just needed to get this off my chest, as this has been bugging me for so many years. Yes, I do tend to do things "against" any rules, but it's not like I can help that. My parents never used that "house rule" bullshit most parents use. Mine were never like that. Sure I see my parents as "weird/strange" in my eyes, yet I still care for them, but I can't show that I do that most people can. I find it so difficult to show I care about them around me and yet people see me as emotionless. I have kept me most of my emotions hidden for a long time (as in the times of when I'd be bullied, I'd hide my emotions because I can be dangerous if I'm angered enough). So yeah, this is bit of a rant, well just to get something off my chest, so here it is. I'll no doubt get bitched/flamed at for speaking out/saying what I feel is true, or something.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Ketsuban
Date: 2009-12-20 16:12:21
The admins and mods on another forum I'm on ruined a game I was running and changed every single post, even mine, into a personal attack on me.

FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: fivex
Date: 2009-12-20 16:13:39
Fgahh, that hurts my eyes. I'm having rouble reading it…
No offence, but please use a line break or two

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Wild MissingNo. appeared
Date: 2009-12-20 16:17:39
Do I really have to go through a list of problems I have? I have harsh learning problems, so my typing/spelling will be bad. I can't help it. My reason I'm out of here in March, is because I'm tired of being a target for people (arrogant people), and I just want out. I can read that better than I can on paper. I've alway had problems with my eyes when it comes to reading things on paper.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Torchickens
Date: 2009-12-20 16:20:23

The admins and mods on another forum I'm on ruined a game I was running and changed every single post, even mine, into a personal attack on me.

FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON.


Really? That is ridiculous! It makes me want to consider whether the owners and admins of a forum are actually mature before visiting them. I know that this forum is great and is run by very polite administrators but theres a dark side of the internet run by attention seekers and criminals who likely just set up a forum for the amount of members it can get.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Wild MissingNo. appeared
Date: 2009-12-20 16:39:08
I mean, I get crap just for having both versions of autism. I only knew I had one version of autism, the same one my father has, but the second one, I think Ketsuban has, is what I have with my other one, and I mean before the admin of another forum I went to, he turned his message into a persoanl attack, after explaining how I react, and he threated to ban me for it. Talk about kicking a man when he's down. The last forum I went to I was banned from because the admin had personally attacked me, and I was saying that don't take that crap up with me when it's her mods with the problem with me and other people and I got the banhammer, after I said her mods have a problem with me and other people on that place, and I said to her how rude her mods are, and she banned me for it. I mean, it's like we autism/mild autism victims are a target for people like that. It's just not right.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Ketsuban
Date: 2009-12-20 16:47:37


The admins and mods on another forum I'm on ruined a game I was running and changed every single post, even mine, into a personal attack on me.

FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON.


Really? That is ridiculous! It makes me want to consider whether the owners and admins of a forum are actually mature before visiting them. I know that this forum is great and is run by very polite administrators but theres a dark side of the internet run by attention seekers and criminals who likely just set up a forum for the amount of members it can get.


Also the selfsame admins banned me now.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Kinneas
Date: 2009-12-20 16:54:50


The admins and mods on another forum I'm on ruined a game I was running and changed every single post, even mine, into a personal attack on me.

FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON.


Really? That is ridiculous! It makes me want to consider whether the owners and admins of a forum are actually mature before visiting them. I know that this forum is great and is run by very polite administrators but theres a dark side of the internet run by attention seekers and criminals who likely just set up a forum for the amount of members it can get.


Guys CJMiller is lying. He set up a forum game and proceeded to cheat and corrupt the game. Then he turned the topic into his own personal art dealership full of stolen pieces of work from around the internet.

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Pokemonline/topic/7239080/1/

Now he is deliberatly banning people from an IRC channel, which is violating international law, as he is restricting their right to free speech as set forth in the Universal Declaration of the Rights of Man

He is an internet bully and you shouldn't believe his lies. He was banned for a good reason.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Wild MissingNo. appeared
Date: 2009-12-20 16:56:16
Uh? I'm a bit confused here.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Yuzihax
Date: 2009-12-20 17:00:41

Guys CJMiller is lying. He set up a forum game and proceeded to cheat and corrupt the game. Then he turned the topic into his own personal art dealership full of stolen pieces of work from around the internet.

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Pokemonline/topic/7239080/1/

Now he is deliberatly banning people from an IRC channel, which is violating international law, as he is restricting their right to free speech as set forth in the Universal Declaration of the Rights of Man

He is an internet bully and you shouldn't believe his lies. He was banned for a good reason.


why do we have to bring in stupid bullshit that isn't humorous in the slightest into a serious topic, it's just rude.

e: protip: the topic's a joke and so is the entire post, so yeah.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: GARYM9
Date: 2009-12-20 17:04:52



The admins and mods on another forum I'm on ruined a game I was running and changed every single post, even mine, into a personal attack on me.

FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON.


Really? That is ridiculous! It makes me want to consider whether the owners and admins of a forum are actually mature before visiting them. I know that this forum is great and is run by very polite administrators but theres a dark side of the internet run by attention seekers and criminals who likely just set up a forum for the amount of members it can get.


Guys CJMiller is lying. He set up a forum game and proceeded to cheat and corrupt the game. Then he turned the topic into his own personal art dealership full of stolen pieces of work from around the internet.

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Pokemonline/topic/7239080/1/

Now he is deliberatly banning people from an IRC channel, which is violating international law, as he is restricting their right to free speech as set forth in the Universal Declaration of the Rights of Man

He is an internet bully and you shouldn't believe his lies. He was banned for a good reason.


Wow, are you people the same person because you sound like Miller from 6 months ago.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Ketsuban
Date: 2009-12-20 17:11:18



The admins and mods on another forum I'm on ruined a game I was running and changed every single post, even mine, into a personal attack on me.

FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON.


Really? That is ridiculous! It makes me want to consider whether the owners and admins of a forum are actually mature before visiting them. I know that this forum is great and is run by very polite administrators but theres a dark side of the internet run by attention seekers and criminals who likely just set up a forum for the amount of members it can get.


Guys CJMiller is lying. He set up a forum game and proceeded to cheat and corrupt the game. Then he turned the topic into his own personal art dealership full of stolen pieces of work from around the internet.

http://s11.zetaboards.com/Pokemonline/topic/7239080/1/

Now he is deliberatly banning people from an IRC channel, which is violating international law, as he is restricting their right to free speech as set forth in the Universal Declaration of the Rights of Man

He is an internet bully and you shouldn't believe his lies. He was banned for a good reason.


This is the Kinneas that banned me from Pokemonline.  He has been reported.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Wild MissingNo. appeared
Date: 2009-12-20 17:12:21
I mean I've gotten a lot of crap from people from here, well going through that troubles again, so I'm out in March to finally be free from it. And Kinneas, I think you were a little wrong on Kestuban there, I've read the whole post and you were extremely out of line there. Anyway, back on topic, I still feel as if, that the more I act like myself, the more "trouble" it seems to cause, and if I be someone I'm not, it sort of makes me think I've gone insane.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: Kinneas
Date: 2009-12-20 17:20:16

I mean I've gotten a lot of crap from people from here, well going through that troubles again, so I'm out in March to finally be free from it. And Kinneas, I think you were a little wrong on Kestuban there, I've read the whole post and you were extremely out of line there. Anyway, back on topic, I still feel as if, that the more I act like myself, the more "trouble" it seems to cause, and if I be someone I'm not, it sort of makes me think I've gone insane.


Mutou Yami I am not normally that harsh but he stole my art that I worked very hard on. Maybe you have never had your work stolen but I assure you, it is not a nice feeling.

CJ has been bullying me and coming to our forum that only has a few members, and in a VERY peculiar way he spams and trolls under the guise that he can get away with it because he is autistic. He is doing it right now on our IRC channel. Please ban him.

Re: Annoyance, on the "curse" - autism (Bit of a rant)

Posted by: GARYM9
Date: 2009-12-20 17:26:26
Kinneas, these are the steps we are taking to ban CJ Miller.