Glitch City Laboratories Archives

The dream started out with me walking to the local liquor store. I came across 15 pickup trucks driving down the street. For some odd reason they all parked on MY street. As if it couldn't get any more weird, the person in the backmost line came out of their truck. He proceeded to shout the following.

"You guys have been selected to be victim of our FUCKING 24-hour robbery! Anybody, including children, the eldery, and general retards will be shot at the slightest hint of resistance, or if we feel like it. You're all our pawns, and we'll be rolling out of here with all the money."

This man wasn't hesitating, as he and a few of his buddies begun firing SMGs at nearby people, instantly killing them. Worse off, more people started guarding the ends of the street to make sure anyone didn't get out. These people had no regard for human life or any sort of emotions in general. Before stealing valuables, they decided to have some fun in their way by causing vandalism, arson, murder, and various other crimes. As I ran back to my house, I came across one of their men dumping gasoline in my yard. He gave me a smug grin as he ignited the fuel. The man wasn't so smart, because he only lit the fuel on the concrete. There was nothing flammable to destroy my house.

I headed inside but my family was already aware of the issue. We waited until night to see if help would come, and unfortunately none did. We had an agreement to not answer the door, keep most of the lights off, and make ourselves hidden. The men already knew their other guy failed to rob us, so they decided to take it in their hands. During the night I assumed they kicked down our door, which is impossible given its qualities. The worst-case scenario was upon us, as it was literally three men who busted in. One had a shotgun, the others had SMGs. We weren't armed, as all the guns were locked away.

They didn't hesitate to make themselves known. As my aunt walked out with her revolver, the pointman (dude with the shotgun) shot her point-blank, instantly killing her. My brother and mom ran out shouting, and the two SMG men shot them dead as well.

I furiously sprinted outside after somehow disarming all the robbers, and made my way to a two-story house that was now on the end of my street. I met two men who were fighting robbers, but couldn't stop them. I asked them why it was so hard and they told me they were dealing with abnormal humans part of the robbers that have night-vision by GENETICS, and were extremely agile. They also were known to fit the role of "monster in the closet" as their eyes would glisten in the dark if they looked at you.

The two men I met told me that these guys had no names, so they referred to them as "spooks". One of them told me from watching their activity, they choose to primarily murder children and are known to leave messy traces. The man was then interrupted by one of the spooks about to attack us, as their were no children around. The man literally handed me a mint-condition Kar98k rifle. For those who aren't gun-savvy, a Kar98k was the primary bolt-action rifle used by Nazi soldiers.

In some high school
"Oh crap one of those dreams, I suppose I'll play along and see how it goes"
Maths class
Introduces some characters like it was some kind of movie
Douchebag jock character to my left, some other people I don't remember
Fail opening maths test horribly
Everyone else does too though so I don't feel too bad
"Okay kids now time for Pokémon class"
Oh fuck yes
All of my fuck yes
"It's important you know how Pokémon work so you can go out and catch them in the real world"
Basically deduce that Pokémon are real in this universe
Over 9000 fuck yes
Apparently this kid sitting next to me is my long-time childhood friend, even though he's a dick
The sheet of paper says what we will end up with as our Pokémon team
Ask the teacher if there's any restrictions (to see if we're supposed to just have basic early game mons etc)
She says there isn't
Time to ace the shit out of this class
Put Volcarona and Espeon and some others down (apparently I was planning a team using these guys)
Meanwhile my "friend" has stolen some donuts, which due to dream logic, are Mr. Mimes (ed. Upon reading this again, perhaps they were just donuts but they were being guarded by the Mr Mimes)
He angers the Mr. Mimes and causes widespread destruction
Use my god-like powers to reset the universe
Same scenario with the Pokémon class starts again, except this time, it's a bit more like Hogwarts but with Pokémon
That dude who was apparently my friend earlier does some stupid shit I can't remember, and almost pissess off a wild Hydreigon
"Okay class don't panic we all have to gather round in groups and that makes the Hydreigon ignore us"
Apparently it was a sort-of-prank from one of the teachers who teach a more advanced class to teach the dude a lesson
This dude's behaviour has got to end before he does something completely stupid again, but I don't reset the universe this time
Teacher goes up to me and asks me to keep an eye out for him
Grumble to myself about how now I have to do the teacher's job
Skip to next day
Some more teachers are there, one of which is my old supervisor IRL
Dude brings in his troublemaker-type bros around to class
"Yeah brah we're like the best trainers brah caught a Hydreigon brah" or something like that, bragging about stuff
Old supervisor mentions "There's going to be a new test" and points to me and says "He approved it"
Oh crap don't drag me into this, I don't want them to beat the crud out of me
The test involves the donuts from before
All the people in the class who aren't the dude and his bros ask me what the hell this test is about
I apparently was the one who thought of the test from earlier, as I explain that they just have to get the donuts and actually pay for them
"You'd be surprised, there are some people who can't work that out"
Meanwhile in background the dude is experiencing the wrath of Mr. Mimes
Apparently he has a fear of Fairy types (fridge brilliance: He's a Dark type because he's a dick)
He runs away from the school and is never seen again
The story ends and I wake up

Waking music: All Hail Britannia!, Minomatoya - Next Day

Okay subconscious, your obsession with putting silly characters in Smash Bros has got to stop.

Postman Pat will never be in the series. Ever. Or any fighting game.

The more I think about the fact that I actually dreamt this, the more I laugh uncontrollably.


Yes, hello? Is this the mental hospital? I'd like to book myself in. Forever. Thanks.